Me on Twitter

Monday, August 3, 2009

"You and the night and the meme..."


My roommate and I once:

Captured a live rampaging lion using only rubber bands and a stale Twizzler

Never in my life have I:

Jumped naked out of a low flying airplane into a giant pile of very soft tofu on the White House lawn during a thunderstorm storm while reading a Life magazine from 1954 and singing the Andrews Sisters songbook and swinging liberally from a bottle half filled with sour milk and half filled with Guava nectar.

High school was:


When I’m nervous:

I know I'm still alive

My hair:

Is powerfully and intimidating

When I was 5:

I stole a Tomato.

When I turn my head left:

I see what's on the left side of me. If there is a mirror there, I can also see what's on the right side of me. This is my superpower.

I should be:

Making some stew. Mmmmm stew.

By this time next year:

I will have achieved an additional 365 days of relative failure in many of my endeavours

My favorite aunt is:

A blind one armed domino champion

I have a hard time understanding:

What role the garden slug plays in the universe

You know I like you if:

I lick you on the back of the knee. The left knee, specifically.

My ideal breakfast is:

An Avocado and Glazed Donut and Grapefruit Omelet

If you visit my home town:

Mind the feral children

If you spend the night at my house:

Mind the feral children

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:


I shouldn’t have been:


Last night I:

Played Naked Neighbourhood Night Ninja

A better name for me would be:

Tien-Phuc McGillicuddy. Sir Von Rippenhoffen Du Bastide. Buck Fluffyliver. Lydia.

I’ve been told I look like:

A really drunk and angry Katie Couric

If I could have any car, it would be:

Breaking down a month after I bought it

"The Memers Dance"

From Le Livre Du Visage:

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Never went to any prom. I was too chickenshit

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Just the first true one (me wifey -poo) also, Lady Aberlin is not returning my phone calls

3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink?
Rye - and lots of it. Then puking. And lots of it.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Astrophysicist of The Spectral Realms. No wait, busboy.

5. What was your FIRST car?

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
No. Body. Please text me? I am lonely. Oh wait, forget it, my phone is off.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Kuala Lumpur

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
As I said, Lady Aberlin is not returning my calls. My many, many calls

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Over what?

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My parents. But none of us were quit aware of this at the time.
(note: This is actually a lie)

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

16. FIRST tattoo?
A wad of chest hair, right in the area around the man boobs. Looks good, very fluffy.

17. First piercing?
Pinky Toe

18. First foreign country you've been to?

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
The Player. Boy! Was I confused!

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Still there.

21. What was the first state you lived in?
State of Apprehension. I have yet to move.

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
The Anxiety Monkeys

23. If you had one wish. What would it be?
I could really go for a frappe.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
Meat Bone Weaving

25. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?