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Sunday, October 4, 2009

NaNoWriMo ideas

I need feedback, votes, opinions, what have you's. I may not listen but I need them anyway.

For NaNoWriMo , should I write about

A) A tender and heartwarming coming of age story about a teenage boy and his relationship with his grandfather. This will include copious amounts of Zombie Nazi's on Jetpacks with Rayguns. It fits in, trust me. This is, in fact, my most fleshed out idea.

B) A detective story about a murder mystery in the Arthur Freed unit at MGM during Hollywood's golden age, with a Comden and Green type as wise cracking amateur detectives. Requires too much research perhaps, but it's research I've spent much of my life doing.

3) The Folkloric Adventures of Hammerhead Lincoln, Time-Traveling Ex-President. I can't explain this one - but maybe there's a team of time traveling presidents - and they have crazy adventures. And it's based on a series of tweets from a month or two ago. Sort of a Paul Bunyon ala steampunk feel.

or Bacon. A novel about Bacon.

None of these ideas have an ending. I clearly have no idea what I am doing. Help me. Stop me. Leave me comments here or on the Facebook or on the Twitter, however you heard of this ...

Monday, August 3, 2009

"You and the night and the meme..."


My roommate and I once:

Captured a live rampaging lion using only rubber bands and a stale Twizzler

Never in my life have I:

Jumped naked out of a low flying airplane into a giant pile of very soft tofu on the White House lawn during a thunderstorm storm while reading a Life magazine from 1954 and singing the Andrews Sisters songbook and swinging liberally from a bottle half filled with sour milk and half filled with Guava nectar.

High school was:


When I’m nervous:

I know I'm still alive

My hair:

Is powerfully and intimidating

When I was 5:

I stole a Tomato.

When I turn my head left:

I see what's on the left side of me. If there is a mirror there, I can also see what's on the right side of me. This is my superpower.

I should be:

Making some stew. Mmmmm stew.

By this time next year:

I will have achieved an additional 365 days of relative failure in many of my endeavours

My favorite aunt is:

A blind one armed domino champion

I have a hard time understanding:

What role the garden slug plays in the universe

You know I like you if:

I lick you on the back of the knee. The left knee, specifically.

My ideal breakfast is:

An Avocado and Glazed Donut and Grapefruit Omelet

If you visit my home town:

Mind the feral children

If you spend the night at my house:

Mind the feral children

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:


I shouldn’t have been:


Last night I:

Played Naked Neighbourhood Night Ninja

A better name for me would be:

Tien-Phuc McGillicuddy. Sir Von Rippenhoffen Du Bastide. Buck Fluffyliver. Lydia.

I’ve been told I look like:

A really drunk and angry Katie Couric

If I could have any car, it would be:

Breaking down a month after I bought it

"The Memers Dance"

From Le Livre Du Visage:

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Never went to any prom. I was too chickenshit

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Just the first true one (me wifey -poo) also, Lady Aberlin is not returning my phone calls

3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink?
Rye - and lots of it. Then puking. And lots of it.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Astrophysicist of The Spectral Realms. No wait, busboy.

5. What was your FIRST car?

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
No. Body. Please text me? I am lonely. Oh wait, forget it, my phone is off.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Kuala Lumpur

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
As I said, Lady Aberlin is not returning my calls. My many, many calls

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Over what?

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My parents. But none of us were quit aware of this at the time.
(note: This is actually a lie)

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

16. FIRST tattoo?
A wad of chest hair, right in the area around the man boobs. Looks good, very fluffy.

17. First piercing?
Pinky Toe

18. First foreign country you've been to?

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
The Player. Boy! Was I confused!

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Still there.

21. What was the first state you lived in?
State of Apprehension. I have yet to move.

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
The Anxiety Monkeys

23. If you had one wish. What would it be?
I could really go for a frappe.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
Meat Bone Weaving

25. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Another one of them there question deals from the Facebook thing:

Just for fun

1. What time did you get up this morning?
3:30, 4:18, 4:23, 5:12, 5:30, (hit snooze) 5:35 (hit snooze) 5:40 (snooze again) repeat until 6:15

2. How do you like your steak?
Cooked and eaten

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo

4. What is your favorite TV show
The one that's on right now. Sweet sweet teevee soothes all the pain.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Hooker, Kansas. It's right between Liberal and Guymon. Or maybe Twickenham, London. 'cause that's fun to say. Twickenham.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Steak and a donut

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Lower Mongolian Vegetarian

8. What foods do you dislike?
I dislike it when my chocolate is combined with fruit. This upsets me.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
555 on Congress St in Portland, ME

10. Favorite dressing?
I like to dress in my bedroom

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Pencil skirts. Oh, you mean on me? Pencil skirts

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

14. Cup ½ empty or ½ full?
I am not finished drinking it yet

15. Where would you want to retire?
to the boudoir

16. Favorite time of day?
1:30am, unless the anxiety monkeys are around ....

17. Where were you born?
Underneath my mom, as it were

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Naked pairs street luge

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
I know or care not

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
I shouldn't say

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
I shouldn't say

22. Bird watcher?
Eater, actually. Bird Eater.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
There are no morning people. Morning people are lying, overcompensating. You, yes you, I am talking to you.

24. Do you have any pets?
Just the anxiety monkeys. My wife has some cats. Oh! And we have a child.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I continue to be fascinated by my weird earlobe hairs

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

27. What is your best childhood memory?
I think the above answer should settle this question.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
I am a Krypto person

29. Are you married?
So far ...

30. Always wear your seat belt?
And a helmet. And a hazmat suit. And a re-breather. You never know.

31. Been in a car accident?
Today. No. Not really. Not today. Well, okay, a little one. Really little. Very, very few people died.

32. Any pet peeves?
I have never had a peeve as a pet. I am "anti" domesticated peeves.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Peanut Butter and Grapefruit.

34. Favorite Flower?
Whole Wheat

35. Favorite ice cream?
All of it. Except if it has nuts or fruit in it. 'cause that is wrong.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
That one with the drive thru beer window? That one.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
I was supposed to take a test?

38. From whom did you get your last email?
My imaginary friend.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
I took nap last weekend

41. Like your job?
*hands over ears* lalalalal I can't hear you.

42. Broccoli?
Maybe. What are we doing with the broccoli? What are our intentions? Context is key here.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Summer Stay-Cation 09. Good times...good good times...

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
My invisible squad of super-friends

45. What are you listening to right now?
Fans. Lots and lots of fans.

46. What is your favorite color?
Pale Mauve

47. How many tattoos do you have?

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Stop bugging me


50. Coffee Drinker?
Actually I could really go for some coffee ice cream right now.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I've come to believe

This comes from the Facebook thing.

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . .is too large for a man my age. Too large by half.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . .is how I make a living

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . .I pretend I'm James Bond. This is a problem

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . .many Apple products. And maybe some toast.

5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost. . .my shoes. My youthful skin. A pant size I am not embarrassed to say out loud.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . .I lose my shoes.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . .it must be Tuesday

8. I’ve come to realize that something I could use more of.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . .love it when I do my Bea Arthur impersonation

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . .have time for Bea Arthur

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . .is way more talented than I am

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom…can not tell a joke

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . .sucks

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .I wanted more sleep

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . .I wanted more sleep

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .I want more sleep

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . .is generous

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . .I am thinner

19. I’ve come to realize that today. . .was sunny

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . .was dark

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . .will hopefully be sunny again

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . .become a nun

23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is. . .me.

24. I’ve come to realize that life. . .is this thing that gets in the way of my sleep

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . .I shouldv'e slept more

26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . .is skatepunk recorded by 70 year old men in polka bands

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . .must get tired of me

28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . .kind of sucks

29. I’ve come to realize that me exes. . .are still just that. Thank God.

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . .be more reflective when I do these things. That or sleep more.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . .Sleeping. And cake.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . .people that get up early. Or who don't like cake.

33. I’ve come to realize my past. . .stalks me like Elmer Fudd hunting rabbits

34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . .are mostly unpleasant

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . .of parties. And Republicans. So the Republican Party? REALLY freaks me out.

36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . .needs more cake.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Spring: an Ode.

Spring is a'borning
the melting snow
revealing new life
and also
on the front porch
the remains
of the Halloween pumpkin
we forgot to throw away
last October

Welcome to your Friday

Which of course begs the question: What Would Wang Chung Do? I like to think they would "GO" :

I get a Wang Chung fetish on Fridays, sometimes.