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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
If there is any body who reads this blog regularly, who reads all of it, in toto as it where, well I imagine that number, including myself, totals to 2, but just in case, let me explain.
I don't think I can explain.
I've posted silly, goofy and embarrassing stuff from work, and I really shouldn't have but it was fun!! And real life stuff about life and dying. A bit of politics here and there. Weird links.
That's just how my head works. It veers. Careens. Wildly and often with great abandon. From hither over to yon and back again.
This is my brain on blog.
Here are some other things I could have posted about and may soon:
My heterosexual man love for Greg Rucka.
Why I like Wonder Woman, at least sometimes.
Cheeseburger in a can. Cheeseburger in a can.
i go bed now
She was one of a dozen children, all girls except for twin boys. She was near the younger end, but she had a few sisters younger than her. My grandmother, my mother's mother, was her younger sister. A large family and they had remained in the same region, the same town, their whole lives, they stayed close.
They have been there all of my life, all of my mother's life, that generation has been there.
They are all gone now. She was the last.
She grew up during the depression, was a young adult during World War II. She married a serviceman, like several of her sisters and many other young women during that time. She stayed married to him for his whole life.
She went to college, I think, and worked as a teacher. I think she liked teaching. She read a lot, all kinds of books, a lot of non-fiction. She always went to the library. She read almost until the end of her life.
She was smart, she wouldn't admit it, but she was.
She witnessed the birth of the modern world.
She was an adult during the Korean War, the Birth of The Cold War, Television in almost every home, Elvis, the Red Scare, the Beatles, the Cuban Missile Crisis, John F. Kennedy's assassination, The Civil Rights Movement, The Vietnam War, The Moon Landing, Color television, Watergate and Nixon, The fall of the Iron Curtain and the end of The Cold War, Television that you carry around on your phone in your back pocket. All that and much more.
Her husband developed Alzheimer's, she took care of him and enabled him to live out his last years in their home. After he was gone she volunteered at an Alzheimer's care center for several years..
She baked great cookies.
She witnessed the birth of dozens of cousins and nieces and nephews. She never had her own children, I'm not sure if that was a choice, or just what happened. She knew my son and she liked to play with him and watch him grow from newborn to infant to toddler.
She was proud of what I do for a living.
She buried her husband and all her siblings, and their wives and husbands, and some of their children too.
She did all this.
I have never thought much about her life, and all she saw and what she did, until today.
We are born and we die. We connect with others along the way. The circle continues.
She died peacefully and naturally.
In a few days I will bring my son to her funeral, and I will tell him who she was and what she did.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
"I need kiss" he said. I gave him one kiss on the forehead, and one on his nose. He smiled and closed his eyes. I told him I loved him and was so very proud of him and that he was a sweet and wonderful little boy.
"Stop talking" he said. Then he fell asleep.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
You know, for the depressions.
It was a Sara Whoopie Pie. I froze it, to give it that crispness. Nice frozen frosting. Mmmmmm.
Sara's Whoopie Pies are some of the best. Simple and pure and the right balance of frosting to cake, and the right consistency of the cake. There is a certain heartiness to a Sara's pie.
Isamax pies don't have that, substantial feeling to them, plus they aren't big enough. They aren't bad. No Whoopie Pie is bad. Well, except, you know, when there is no Whoopie Pie. That's bad.
Tony's donuts makes a nice one too, but if I'm at Tony's, I'm eating donuts. Molasses donuts. Many Molasses donuts. Why I try not go there .
Big G's makes one that, well, the excitement is not in it's taste so much as that it's roughly the size of a manhole cover.
I like Whoopie Pies.
I wish they didn't make me fat.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
My webcam fu is not so good. I know it's a bit of sync and the audio peaks a bit loud here and there, particular when The Dude gets excited. And it's grainy...I'm still experimenting with compression rates and formats and stuff. Maybe I'm making it too complicated?
But it's still cute, I think. :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
It's like having my own little desktop on my pocket. I can walk around carrying functioning versions of GIMP and Audacity with me. I can keep live bookmarks on my Firefox and have them for my pleasure on virtually any computer IN THE WORLD.
And it's freaking free!
I'm dreaming about the developers getting some kind of lite video editing on this somehow.
This just may change my life forever. This could very well be the tipping point. This is the way life should be.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
I did manage to get my driver's license reinstated, so I now have regained my driving air poisoning freedom. Yay.
I go bed now. Wake up later. Lie down again after that. Ugh.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Now my wife won't have to cart my ass around everywhere.
Sweet, sweet driving freedom will be mine again.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
It was goddamn good, it was.
I don't know what I put into it that was so special, but I did the whole laying strips of bacon on top thing. Juicy and tasty and just so goddamn good. I'm gonna call it "Goddamn Good Meatloaf." And I'm going to enter competitions and bake offs and whatnot. God himself will appear before me in the form of Harvey Lembeck and He will taste it and He will weep. It will make Zeus give up the womens. Satan will turn off the heat down below and let everybody just, you know, hang out. And when I die, on my tombstone it will say: He made a Goddamn Good Meatloaf.
What more could I want?
Monday, January 14, 2008
I could bitch about my shitty life. Pity Blogging. But no. That seems wrong, I am a lucky man with a wonderful Wife and an amazing Son and a nice house.
Still, all pain is relative and we are each entitled to our own.
So I'll tell you this than: I found yesterday, from a nice cop who happened to pull me over, that my license was under suspension and that he could arrest me. Oh dear, said I. The nice cop informed me that I had an unpaid ticket from back in September. Oh deary yes, now that you mention it, this does sound familiar, said I. The nice cop took my license away and went back to his car and filled out multiple pieces of paperwork. Including some additional fines for portions of the municipal bureaucratic process that I had failed to follow through with in a timely manner. I sat in my car and thought: Oh dear, Oh dear indeed, this is most certainly a pickle. He came back, I signed papers, I don't really know what I signed. He explained some tings to me, I don't really know what he said. He did not arrest me.
So I got that going for me, which is nice.
The cop was perfectly decent and respectful, honestly I got no complaints there. And I've really got no defense for my crimes. Yes I forgot to pay the ticket, meant to, was going to, didn't. It wasn't intentional, I'm just this modern busy overstretched dude, like everybody else.
I can't drive again until I pay some fines and pay to get my license reinstated, fair enough.
'Cept I ain't got no moneys.
Somehow this too will all work out and life will continue.
It snowed again today, we got ten more inches. I'm tired of shoveling the driveway.
This link has nothing to do with anything. Except, in some weird way in my head, it has everything to do with everything. Some of you may understand.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
It was wonderful. It's a musical of sorts, it uses music, written and sung by the two leads, to tell most of its story. And the story is simple, not a lot really happens, but it has this very "real life" quality. It has a little down and dirty, home made feel. It's a micro budget movie, in part made up on the fly, starring non actors. The whole thing just feels so natural and emotionally true.
I love movies like that.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Dude lost his shit.
LOUD WAILING. Big honking uncontrollable tears. Cries of "I WANT MOMMY." Full body throwing himself down on the ground and pounding with his hands and fists. Pushing me away and kicking at me. "No daddy! Not You! I want MOMMY!" In big choking breaths in between his tears.
I couldn't console or help or fix it. I finished getting our food ready. I sat down to eat, The Dude facedown on the floor next to my chair. I wondered if the neighbors could hear him. I told him I loved him, I don't know that he heard me. As I began eating he looked up at me and, after a time, pointed to my water glass.
"I have some?" he gasped between his dwindling tears. Sure, I said and handed the glass to him.
"Nonono... No want water...I sit with you?" He pointed to my lap. Sure, I said and pulled him up into the chair with me. He drank some water. I pulled his dinner over closer to us. He said it was too hot. He fed me some of mine and giggled. I fed him some of his. We ate like that for awhile, he on my lap, sharing our food and water and milk, mostly quiet, a little talking. Then he was done.
"I love you." I said.
"I love you too." He said. And gave me a little hug.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
But I'm tired so I'm gonna go the obvious and the easy.
THE EIGHTIES WERE AWESOME!! I once had a short double breasted shoulder padded sport coat that was just this color.
1985 in particular:
I love Wang Chung. Shut up!
Couple of things about that: That movie kicked ass. It's stylish, but gritty; the violence is horrific (lots of people get shot in the face) which is kind of a neat change of pace from glorified violence, and the main "hero" is pretty morally ambiguous. He does some nasty things. William Peterson is like a baby there, but ever since that he's been one of my favorite actors. And William Friedkin is a actually in that video, and may have directed it too.
Sad. But it's all I've got.
ummmm blogger ate my words....
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
If you're anywhere near Manchester, New Hampshire today, you're invited to join Dennis, Elizabeth, and internationally acclaimed actor Viggo Mortensen (The Lord of the Rings, Eastern Promises, G.I. Jane, and many more) at an afternoon rally, at a 5:30 fundraiser this evening, and at a special Constitutional Forum at the studios of MCAM TV at 8 p.m.)
Also, Viggo Mortensen has founded and contributes to this small press publisher; Perceval Press, and they happen to sell these really cool (and pretty cheap!) shirts.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
We went and visited the aunts today. Visiting the aunts involves a long drive through a semi rural area. The trees hung heavy with frosted limbs of snow, ice covered bushes twinkled in the sun like fine cut crystal. It was pretty and cool and nice.
Most music you hear on the radio sucks. except the rockabilly, that's always fun.
I'm at the grocery store, picking out apples, standing next to an older gentleman wearing a hat. A nice hat, he looked cool. He was having trouble opening those little plastic bags they give you for produce at the grocery store. Sometimes you can't get them open, you know? I offered to help him, but then he managed it. I miss guys wearing hats. Not ball caps or any of that, but real hats. We could all look so cool and civilized.
The Dude was really great while we were visiting the aunts, he was great all day. Until we got home.
I saw a picture of Audrey Hepburn on the cover of a magazine and was immediately drawn to look at it, like my body was taken over and moved without conscious thought. She is quite possibly the most beautiful human being that's ever been. And she was talented and seemed to be a decent and good person on top of that. We should hate her, but we don't. Which is maybe a hopeful sign for us all.
I saw Dennis Kucinich on Bill Moyer's Journal last night. It was great but it also pained me. Everything he said seemed so intelligent and clear and lacking in hyperbole. Every position he has seems to line up perfectly with my beliefs and my feelings about the country and how the government should be run. He even quoted a bit from the FCC act of 1934, saying that the airwaves belong to the people and television networks are supposed to act for the people's benefit. And he was talking about abolishing for profit health insurance. Damn. I swear ever time I hear him speak I want to give him a big hug and thank him.
I wish he could be President, but I'm afraid he won't be, and if he was, I'm afraid they'd shoot him.
I heard some John Fogerty today. John Fogerty is good.
I also heard some Gary Numan. Which was cool and good in a whole different way. Reminded me of the days when the Yamha DX 7 was the sound of the future. Hey! turns out he's still around and touring.
The Dude is buck naked, except for socks, and is running rampant throughout the house, screaming and laughing and doing gymnastics on the couch.
I'm gonna go have a BBQ burger and some sweet potato fries from Silly's. Mmmmmm...sweet potato fries.
Friday, January 4, 2008
I came home from work tonight and played with The Dude (well, no, not that one.) We played with firetrucks, practiced with lightsabers and slew some monsters together. We played with The Dude's Fantastical Zoo o' Fun. The Zoo consists of lions and cheetahs and elephants and zebras and horses and cows and pigs and dogs and goats and hippos and pigs. And dinosaurs. Sometimes Superman.
No matter who is in the zoo the lion sits up on his plastic rocks, still the king of them all.
I tell him I love him, I do that a lot, and he says "I love you too." Very matter of fact, with a short nod of the head, a definitive, no gray areas or doubting.
We named animals and animal parts, made animal noises, made up animal stories and gave some of these creatures abilities never thought of in nature. Sometimes the animals fought, sometimes they nibbled on plastic trees.
Later I put him to bed and laid down next too him for a while, he tossed and turned some, rolling back and forth. He moves all night long, he always has, even when he was in my wife's belly he would move around all night long, that's just him. He rubbed my five day growth of stubble on my chin with the back of his hand, he giggled lightly at his Curious George doll with the light up head. It's the weirdest toy but he likes it and takes comfort in the warm glow.
He rolled over, put his arm around me and rubbed my back a bit, and then patted me on the shoulder several times. As if to say: "I'm alright, I'm growing up good, you're doing a good job, you're a good dad." Then he fell asleep.
I stayed there for awhile.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
"It's colder than a witches tit!"
"It's colder than a well digger's ass!"
Today was both colder than a well digger's ass and colder than a witches tit. Coldernheck, as a Tex Avery cartoon might have said. So dang cold.
Driving home, in the dark (it gets dark at a time of day that in the summer would be "afternoon" but in the winter that same time of day is clearly "night time.") the snow banks on the either side of the ever narrowing road tower over the cars passing under them.
It feels like this:
And if I have to explain to you what that is, well I shouldn't have to, is all I'm saying. To paraphrase Louis Armstrong: If I've got to explain it, you ain't going to get it.
Which reminds me: Louis Armstrong is AWESOME. And don't argue 'cause you can't 'cause it's true and you know it. So don't.
Can you top that? No you can not.
Thinking of Louis Armstrong makes me think of another New Orleans Jazz Trumpter, Louis Prima. Louis The Lip. Louis Prima is da bomb. For Real.
This one is a little rough, but...
Who knew YouTube had so much great Jazz footage? Turns out you can also find THE GREATEST PIECE OF MUSIC EVER RECORDED BY ANYBODY EVER.
Les McCann / Eddie Harris:
The President, he's got his war
Folks don't know just what it's for
Nobody gives us rhyme or reason
Have one doubt, they call it treason
We're chicken-feathers, all without one gut
Huh. Song's forty years old. Huh. More things change...
Wait...what was I talking about???
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
My son picks up part of a track from his wooden train set he got for Christmas, he waves it around with a big grin making whooshing and buzzing noises, like it's a lightsaber. And I think he does it because he knows it will make me laugh.
My wife and son and I are all eating diner together in the dining room, he is having a hot dog and peas and french fries, my wife and I are having leftover homemade pizza with marinated artichoke hearts. The candles are lit. We all smile at each other.
I'm at work. Meh. We got another 8-10 inches of wet heavy snow. We have had too much snow. The driveway is getting smaller and smaller as we dig out only the bare minimum to fit the cars in with just a little bit left over to through. It's like Hoth here.
Except for the trees and the people and the general signs of life.
And now I gotta get back to the working thing.