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Friday, September 12, 2008

Right Now

A snapshot of my mood right this very moment:

I hate everything.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Oh Goody! It's Monday again!

The computers are running too slow and the printer keeps jaming up and there are a few staff out sick. Making it really hard to get anything done.

So, let's just give up now. Shall we?

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Adam and The Ants

I want to bring back the New Romantic look of 1981:



I will begin painting my face, and wear pirate shirts and multiple sashes.

This should really help me in my career.

Unplug the jukebox and do yourself a favor, people.

Moron


Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's Friday.

But it's still my life.

FUCK.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Son of a ...

This morning my boss took great glee in showing me her new iPhone. Which she doesn't know how to use and doesn't know what to do with. But the important thing is she has one.

Pissed me right off. Felt just like this.

Nice



ICANHASFORCE? LOL Star Wars. Nice.

Today on my Brain Radio

This:

i don't understand..

I keep eating red meat and ice cream, but I'm just not losing any weight.

Monday, September 1, 2008

A moment of your time, please.

It's hard to put the feelings into words , when an art form reaches it's pinnacle, when with one sweeping statement it says so much about the human condition that the mind can only assume that the matter is closed. As it unfolds itself before your eyes, cosmic truths long hidden from man are suddenly made clear, and we as a species are lifted up beyond our mundane existence and touch the infinite.

Today we are discussing the art of the cinema. And the nascent work of the auteur Joel Schumacher. I am of course referring to D.C. Cab
dccab.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.


Words are unnecessary. Cinematic Genius:






Irene Cara, we hardly knew ye.

I haven't seen this movie since it was on heavy rotation on HBO back in the 80's. They ran it daily, usually between 3 and 6. What I had forgotten was that Adam Baldwin was in it.

Look, it's lil' Jayne :

dccab_promo01.jpg










Blogged with the Flock Browser

Because sometimes...





...you just need a little Wojciehowicz.




Labor Day

Universal truths in 80's new wave pop. Who knew?

Embedded Video

No. It doesn't have anything to do with Labor Day. Happy Labor Day anyway.


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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Greatest Photograph of All Time Ever.


Although I'm unclear how Spiderman is eating that pretzel with his mask down.

The Mona Leia


I want.

I wish it was higher

80% Geek

Created by OnePlusYou - Online Dating Service

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday Morning News Flash

I started a new bar of soap this morning. I feel new bar of soap clean.
So I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Yeah. That's me.


Garfield minus Garfield.

I fail, often.

I feel like this most of the time:

Obvious.

The Dude and The Potty

The Dude pooped on the potty.
On purpose.

Yay for The Dude!

By the way, it was a BIG one.

Huh.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

Monday morning Jokes

My dad sends me jokes, their pretty good ones usually. In lieu of posting real live actual content (do I ever post real live actual content?) I am posting this joke. It's clever and not dirty, which is a rare thing these days.


The Tomato Garden

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie


Kind of sweet, really. Isn't it?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Little Funny Things

A couple of funny things from The Dude:

I pull up one afternoon to pick him up from daycare, he and two other kids are playing in the daycare playground, I walk up to the fence as they are all running by.

First Kid: "We're Pirates!"

Second Kid: "Candy Pirates!"

The Dude stops, raises his fist in the air like he is holding a cutlass and yells: "Aarrrrgggghhhhh!!"

How awesome would it be to be a candy pirate?


On Sunday evening we are chillaxing, The dude is playing on the floor, I am idly fliping through the channels. I see Star Trek. OG Star Trek. You know, this:

So of course I stop. And before I can even let out my sigh of nerd-joy, The Dude looks up at the tv.

"That's Captain Kirk" he says looking at William Shatner from 40 years ago, the scene shifted to a close up of Leonard Nimoy. "And that's Spock" he says.

I totally burst into tears. In fact I'm crying as I write this.

I go Crude

Okay, I apologize, this is crude and immature, and has bad bad language. But it's quite possibly accurate:

I don't wear glasses

Note: My hair has a groove in it.

Monday, July 14, 2008

A Typical Monday Morning



"What do you mean it's Monday morning already??!!"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Putting The Dude to bed

The past few nights it's been humid, and we have had some out of town guest, so The Dude has been pretty keyed up and not in a "yes, it is a good time to go to bed Father, you are always so wise" sort of mood.

There was much crying and thrashing and sounds like the howling of the damned at end of the world.

We settled on a compromise, allowed The Dude to fall asleep in our bed. Downside is he stayed up much too late and had a harder time getting up in the morning, to the point were we had to force him up. We were treated with what I can only presume to be a sign of the future, The Dude saying "just a few more minutes Daaaaad." This from the little guy who used to routinely wake up, and be WIDE AWAKE AND RARING TO GO at 5am. Sometimes earlier. I suck at morning (ask my wife, sorry Honey!!) and I have been up before him three times this week.

The nice side of all this is I got to fall asleep with him next to me, which is pleasant. Wonderful in fact. There are not the words available to the human tongue for me to describe the feeling.
Both my wife and I often fall asleep in his bed with him. It's about once a week for each of us, I think. We read several books to him, turn off the light and lie down for a bit, and if he hasn't fallen asleep by then, quietly extricate ourselves. Sometimes he says "Noooo" in his little voice and throws an arm around us. We can't resist.

Having him fall asleep in our bed with us seemed like a special treat, for some reason.

Tonight, it was cooler, house guests were gone, and we got him into his own bed early. I read, he settled in, mellowed out considerably. I turned out the light. Climbed back into bed with him.

"No Daddy, you go away."

"You don't want me to lie with you honey?"

"No Daddy, go away. Please." Is he really only three? Or is he three already? I am confused and my head is pinning as he makes his request.

"Okay" I say. I stare at him.

"You're not leaving. Go."

I leave, I tell him I love him and good night and kiss him on the forehead. I go downstairs, my wife asks if he's fallen asleep already, I tell her what happened. We wait at the foot of the stairs, thinking he will call out soon.

I'm not sure if I should hope that he does or that he doesn't.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Avoiding a party

Myself, encased in Hawaiian:



Fat gut enrobed in patterns South Pacific-al

Friday, July 4, 2008

Vigilance

I couldn't put it any better than this:

Vigilance

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July 4



Yes, well. I don't like to make a huge deal out of the fourth of July, but...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

P'seghti again

July 008

July 007

July 011

Yeah. It got a little messy.

I'm boating!


June 020, originally uploaded by vidsaw.

The Dude, he rode in a boat.

Playing with Cameroid










That last one...that one's real.

Cameroid. All you need is a webcam and you can play too.

Oh dear...


It's the tiny headed people.

This is a one of the strange offerings of medical manikins that you can see at oobject

It's a very weird exhibit, and it's not going to make you feel better about anything. It's going to make you feel worse. Much worse.

Behold


June 002, originally uploaded by vidsaw.

I give to you: THE BANANA!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Well, this is different

I had a lot of good news and hopeful signs on Monday and Tuesday. Which was a different sort of experience for me. Even the really bad stuff took on a positive spin, it's not close to being solved, but there is some forward motion, and some issues have been aired.

I hate to call to much attention to things because I'm sure I will jinx stuff, or make grandiose proclamations that I can't possible follow up on.

But some change is occurring, I think. And it's good.

Oblique, but hopeful.

A Sunday in June




Sunday Afternoon in June

We went to the beach on Sunday. Late in the day. It had been foggy and rainy off and on all weekend, but shortly after The Due woke up from his nap, the sun peaked it's head out to remind us all of what sunshine looked like. So off we ran.

And hit fog and overcast skies. But, still warm and a bit humid we ventured to the sea.

The beach was surprisingly crowded, and the ocean water was warm (a relative term when used in regards to a New England beach) taking away the cling of the close sticky air.

The Dude romped and splashed and jumped at the edge of the water. Racing the small waves, hoping over them and extorting us to join in his special and pure brand of fun.

The sun, hidden behind the fog, but peaking out here and there, began to go down. And The Dude began to look cold, but in the great tradition of children on beaches everywhere, denied it. Eventually we convinced to leave the water and wrap up in a towel.

After warming up for a bit, he started to run around on the flat sand. "Chase me daddy!" He said, and I did. We ran down the beach, side by side, laughing. It was a moment in time that you want to hang on to forever. Laughing and running down the beach with your child. This is where you want to live.

It's a moment. And it passes.

He pulled ahead of me, and I felt the physical weight of my years slow me. My breath heaving too much, my chest too tight for the relatively small amount I had exerted. A fog had rolled in, fast and heavy, and I began to see his tiny body, laughing and running, disappear into it. I called to him, but, as is often the case, he did not take my words seriously, intent as he was on his fun. My breath grew heavier, he slipped further into the wispy clouds. I called again, more urgent this time. And again. And again.

"I will not loose him" I actually said it out loud, and forced my old before it's time body to move faster . "I will not loose him." Forced my breathing, to regulate itself, forced the pounding in my head to quiet. Fixed on my child, I ran for him.

He stopped eventually, turned around and we caught up with each other. I gently chided him for his not listening, but I also understood that I was asking a bit too much for his still little brain and body. We hugged and he laughed, and I laughed with a feeling of strange relief that he may never understand. One that I can't quite explain anyway.


We walked hand in hand, back the way we had came.




Saturday, June 28, 2008

Music Social Network sites

Last.fm confuses the hell out of me. Maybe it's because I am refusing to download their software and I'm only willing to use it as a web app. Sure I can find songs and artists that I like, and I guess I can add them to my play list, except sometimes las.fm doesn't have the song, but I can still add it to my playlist, and then...what??

What I want to be able to do, without really thinking about it, is go there and say "Play me all the Louis Prima songs you have." There's probably a way to do it, I want, need it to be just that easy. Click, click play. I'm not asking to own them, just streaming is fine.

I'm sure there is something fundamental here that I'm missing.

Now, a music site that I really do like, but would not appeal to everybody is thesixtyone. This site is for independent, unsigned(??) musicians and some folks who are just regular people like you and me. (heh.) The site is dead simple to use and understand, and has a fun points and reward system that is actually more addictive the more you use it.

And the folks who designed made the genius move of allowing you to play a song or three and still move around and do stuff on other parts of the site. Sounds simply, but that's a big plus for me.

Anyway, check it out, there's all kinds of fun cool stuff that you will never, never ever hear anywhere else. Some of it you can even download for free.

The way I use the web, lately

My default way of using the web, the tubes, the internets, has changed slightly in the past few months. I now, as a rule, have a minimum of about a dozen tabs I keep open at all times, with every social network and feed site going, plus my mail and maybe google docs, and at least one video sharing site ready to grab a quick and boring Web Cam O' The Mundane, or whatever. Seesmic, Friendfeed, Twitter, Socialthing, delicious, Viddler, Pownce, Blogger, Google Reader. And on and on. A blank tab ready to go for quick lookups on wikipedia or imdb. And twitlive, if that's happening. Or ijustine.

This does not make me unique in the world of the digerati, in fact compared to that world it makes me pretty much a peon. A n00b. They've been at this for years and usually have several machines running at once.

But in the world I travel in day to day: no one I know lives like this, and few understand why it's attractive. I'm not sure I understand why it's attractive, but it is. Maybe it's just the growing social need to be connected to all things at all times. Maybe it's just having the digital distractions cranked up to eleven. Maybe that's all the same thing.

Healthy? Unhealthy? An aberration or a growing change in how society functions? I don't know, and I'm not really going to judge, or (apart from this post) over think it.

Just a change I noted in the way I interact with my own personal digital world. Note updated links at right, please.

Geek Gear

I can't afford to buy toilet paper, but I am real tempted to scoop up as much spare change as I can and get me both of these beautiful Objects De Geek:





For the full story, click here.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Generator Fun

Every now and again, when I am avoiding important tasks at work, I like to check in with The Generator Blog.

I find these things endless entertaining. Because I am a sad lonely little immature man. Here's some samples:

I used The Endorsement Generator to get this written testimonial full of outright lies:

I worked with Vidsaw on a major IT project and was impressed with the depth of knowledge he possesses. Vidsaw was fantastic to work with. Vidsaw is responsible, professional, intelligent and hard working manager, a person you can trust when you want to be sure that important tasks will be completed in a systematic and precisely way. For Vidsaw the job is always the most important thing to do. Is able to work in a fast-paced environment.


From the What's YOUR Problem? generator I get this:

My personality problem is "I'm a chain-smoking con-artist with ice-water running through my veins!".

Take What's YOUR Problem? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.


Accompanied by a picture of Tony Soprano. Kinda disturbed by that.

Being an Anglophile, I got a big kick out of THIS ONE. But maybe you need to be an Anglophile. Or English.

And speaking of English, being one of those old guys who is ever nostalgic for his youth and therefore shoves 80's English pop music videos down your throat (aka A Tool.) This:



And maybe my favorite, the most fun for a comic nerd like me: THE SPEECH BUBBLER
(also, here's another chance to prove that I have the sophisticated and subtle humor of a 12 year old.) Click on the pictures to see them larger.





Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hair Hats

Just when I think the internets and the world can't be any weirder.

Hair Hats in the shapes of animals.



Created by Nagi Noda. Wowza.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Passive Aggressive Anger Machine

I want to put this in the staff lounge at my office. I could retire by Fall.

More Spam Please

I mentioned email spam subject line phraseology some time back. I have received two missives today with subject headings that I believe represent the very hight of automatic random computer generated poetry. Or maybe I just like them 'cause if you read 'em right, they could be dirty.

fast and stable in minutes that morning

only continue performing it or shed more calories

I will. I surely will.

Monday, June 9, 2008

iPhone Lust

WANT.

WANT.

WANT.

Actually I really want the 8GB Nokia N95, but I'd happily take an iPhone.

And also, many millions of dollars. And a helper monkey.

A Random Memory

This was one of my favorite songs in Junior High (I'm old)



Read into that what you will.

I still like it. Read into that what you will also.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Gloucster Cheese Rolling

This is pure awesome. I didn't even realize this was a real event, and I would've been doubtful if I hadn't seen it. I'm going to Gloucester and doing this one day. Yes I am. Rolling down a big muddy hill chasing a wheel of cheese? Oh yes. Yes I am.

What a wonderful world...

This is funny, I originally found this link on Laughing Squid, Google News from an alternate world where all problems have been solved:

http://www.fugue.com/pics/goodnews.html

As you read it, hear this:



This is the way life should be...

Saturday, June 7, 2008

iPhone rumors

Well, let me jump into the fray. There have been rumors about the next generation of iPhone. Possibly, probably, well actually, pretty much for sure it's going to be announced at at the WWDC
this coming Monday.

Lots of pics and rumors have been spewing forth the past few weeks (months?) Most of them just fakes.

Here's some new ones, from CrunchGear. We are so close to the actual event, could these be real? Who knows?

Either way I want two.

I think this is me

xkcd by Randall Munroe click the image to embigen and link!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

A Map

In case you get lost, here is a map. CLICK THIS.

Note: It really needs a "You are here" sign. And maybe a listing of Howard Johnson's locations.

FreakAngels

Warren Ellis is a writer. Warren Ellis is a comic book writer. He is known by many as Internet Jesus.

He has a weekly free web comic called FreakAngels. It's free. It's weekly. It's on the web. It's cool. It's not for little children. You should give it a try. Again: it's free. Here's a handy link to episode 1.

Warren Ellis has a website, a mailing list and a message forum full of active and creative people.

Warren Ellis has written many wonderful things.

Warren Ellis is probably smarter than you and I put together.

Know you know.

Oh, so that's where it is.

I found The End.

thanks to Justin Ellis for the link.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

On the way to the beach...


Having some "getting dressed" frustrations with my son. :)

New Words for 2008

I received this email from my dad. Not sure where this originated from, but I like to share:


NEW WORDS FOR 2008:

1. BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2.SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.

3.ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

4.SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6.PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8.SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.

9.STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10.SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11.XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12.IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
Message '404 Not Found,' meaning that the requested sit e could not be
located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
and subdivisions.

17.OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an
email by mistake).

18.WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Pure Joy

Stormtroopers on bass. Imperial Officers playing strings. Chewie on drums.

I am in absolute heaven. This is the greatest moment of my life ever.



I found this on JR Blackwell's blog, so thanks to her and check out her work, it's wonderful.

So apparently this was on MTV a few years ago, but I'm over the legal age limit to watch MTV so I wouldn't have known. As always I'm years late to the party. The party has done got up and left for a much more funky location by the time I arrive with my funny hats and decades out of date references and old man jokes. And if there happen to be a few stragglers left, well, they stare at me: this ancient doddering and drooling oddity attempting to be in the now and the cool and failing in every which way. Stumbling along the dance floor and throwing up on the bar, and they watch me and sadly shake their heads and slowly leave as I lay out of breath collapsed amongst their discarded and cast offs. Pissing on myself to the end.

But fuck it, it's Stormtroopers playing bass.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Potty part two

THE DUDE PEED ON THE POTTY AT HOME!!!

YAY!! YAY DUDE!!

It was cute. He sat there after dinner and my wife and I were watching as his face made that little straining look. Then he smiled and said "I did it! I peed!"

So awesome.

Maybe you had to be there.

Alexander Courage, R.I.P.

Alexander Courage passed away. He was a film and television composer and you maybe don't know his name, but you surely know his most famous work:



The man wrote that music. Give him a minute of your time.

Better obits than I could ever write can be found here and here.

Goodbye and Thank you.

Totally Insane



I have no idea...

Bathroom Curiousity

So I'm in the bathroom at work. For reasons I will not go into here at this time, this bathroom has the world's largest toilet bowl. It's huge, monstrous. What do you think the brand name is on this bit of plumbing?

BIG JOHN

Of course it is. I'll maybe post pictures someday. I have a great idea for a short film involving it as a main character but that will probably never happen.

Anywho, I'm in this bathroom. And I see a phone book. There is no phone in this bathroom, but someone had the need to bring in and leave behind a phone book. Which leads to all sorts of thoughts.

Was it as a replacement for toilet paper? Maybe just in case of an emergency?

Reading material? I am very pro bathroom reading, it's conceivable that reading the phone book would be very educational. I may try it.

A booster, perhaps?

Maybe a footrest?

I have a few other vague thoughts,but they're kind of gnarly.

Just a curiosity from my day that I felt like sharing.

I have just now realized that an unhealthy number of my posts revolve around the bathroom and bathroom related activities. Well, it's important and is probably not discussed enough in polite society, I aims to change that.

Spam

So I get this piece of spam in my gmail. It is from "lakota" who I'm presuming is a 'bot and not an actual human and I don't open it, but of course I read the subject line. Since these things are made by machines they are these strings of words that kind of but not quite go together. I can be a weird non-sensical type of poetry. (I'm sure someone else far more clever than I has collected and published something like this)

Anyway, here is what it said:

i will loved you ever since next Tuesday

There is something weirdly beautiful in that phrase.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Potty

We have started to use the potty. At daycare we are using the potty fairly regularly. Just for pee, not poop yet. However at home, we are content to sit on the potty, but we haven't gone yet.



Yes. He's reading a comic book. Because he said " I want a book. Daddy's Book."

Like father like son. :)

The Dude at the doctors

The Dude had his three year old check up tonight. His first eye test. His first blood pressure test. No shots. (Yay!)

He was all excited going in, climbing the stairs to the doctors office he said "They are going to be so happy to see me!" In the waiting room he almost dashed in when the nurse came to get a different child for their appointment.

When the nurse came, he marched through the door and towards the exam rooms, leading us.

First weight and height. The Dude has barely grown an inch or gained a pound in a year, which might be a cause for concern, but neither my wife and I are tall, in fact we are a bit on the short side and no one seems concerned about his growth rate.

Next was the eye test. The Dude had never done this before but he took to it with ease. The nurse pointed at an eye chart filled with various shapes and silhouettes of household objects. It was kind of funny because sometimes you got the impression that he could see it fine, but he didn't have the language to say what it was, so he'd guess.

The Dude did great having his blood pressure checked, I kept thinking he'd be scared, but it didn't faze him. In fact, even with the doctor checking his ears and mouth and all the usual stuff, he wasn't fazed by any of it. He did great. Like a big kid.

Keep growing Dude. Keep growing.

feb and March 2008 040

I Like Meatballs



















Just because I can, I guess.