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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Last Night

My wife was out to dinner with a friend, so it was just me and The Dude. No big thing, just a simple casual night. He was mostly pretty mellow, I think he was as worn out from the day as I was. I was getting his food ready when my wife called. She talked to me and then him for a bit, and then said good bye to us both and she would see us later. Click, and I gave The Dude his cup of milk. He said he wanted the a different cup. I said "No honey, were going to use this one tonight."

The Dude lost his shit.

LOUD WAILING. Big honking uncontrollable tears. Cries of "I WANT MOMMY." Full body throwing himself down on the ground and pounding with his hands and fists. Pushing me away and kicking at me. "No daddy! Not You! I want MOMMY!" In big choking breaths in between his tears.

I couldn't console or help or fix it. I finished getting our food ready. I sat down to eat, The Dude facedown on the floor next to my chair. I wondered if the neighbors could hear him. I told him I loved him, I don't know that he heard me. As I began eating he looked up at me and, after a time, pointed to my water glass.

"I have some?" he gasped between his dwindling tears. Sure, I said and handed the glass to him.

"Nonono... No want water...I sit with you?" He pointed to my lap. Sure, I said and pulled him up into the chair with me. He drank some water. I pulled his dinner over closer to us. He said it was too hot. He fed me some of mine and giggled. I fed him some of his. We ate like that for awhile, he on my lap, sharing our food and water and milk, mostly quiet, a little talking. Then he was done.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." He said. And gave me a little hug.


erik said...

thats sweet. Dont you wish it was acceptable to just throw yourself on the floor and freak out. I think i will do that now.

GT said...

I always thought it was therapeutic to throw yourself down on the floor and wail. Found it quit productive actually.