"You and the night and the meme..."

questions:

My roommate and I once:

Captured a live rampaging lion using only rubber bands and a stale Twizzler

Never in my life have I:

Jumped naked out of a low flying airplane into a giant pile of very soft tofu on the White House lawn during a thunderstorm storm while reading a Life magazine from 1954 and singing the Andrews Sisters songbook and swinging liberally from a bottle half filled with sour milk and half filled with Guava nectar.

High school was:

Free

When I’m nervous:

I know I'm still alive

My hair:

Is powerfully and intimidating

When I was 5:

I stole a Tomato.

When I turn my head left:

I see what's on the left side of me. If there is a mirror there, I can also see what's on the right side of me. This is my superpower.

I should be:

Making some stew. Mmmmm stew.

By this time next year:

I will have achieved an additional 365 days of relative failure in many of my endeavours

My favorite aunt is:

A blind one armed domino champion

I have a hard time understanding:

What role the garden slug plays in the universe

You know I like you if:

I lick you on the back of the knee. The left knee, specifically.

My ideal breakfast is:

An Avocado and Glazed Donut and Grapefruit Omelet

If you visit my home town:

Mind the feral children

If you spend the night at my house:

Mind the feral children

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds:

Camels

I shouldn’t have been:

Shorter

Last night I:

Played Naked Neighbourhood Night Ninja

A better name for me would be:

Tien-Phuc McGillicuddy. Sir Von Rippenhoffen Du Bastide. Buck Fluffyliver. Lydia.

I’ve been told I look like:

A really drunk and angry Katie Couric

If I could have any car, it would be:

Breaking down a month after I bought it